Independent Publisher Book Awards 2006

Gay Marriage, Real Life named "Finalist - Gay/Lesbian Category

Banker & Tradesman, January 9, 2006

"Putting Your Money Behind Tolerance Is a Good Investment"

By Jim Miara

...In elegant prose, Deakin tells the story of Northridge, Mass., couple Gary Chalmers and Richard Linnell and their 11-year-old daughter Paige, whom they adopted at birth. (They are one of 10 families profiled in the book.) Chalmers and Linnell were part of the lawsuit that resulted in the state Supreme Court's decision, and they were among the first to formally marry. By now there have been enough same-sex marriages in the state to make the Chalmers-Linnell story familiar. Marriage enabled them to take advantage of the legal benefits -- health care and survivors rights, among others -- that previously were denied them. But the real story to consider is that of 11-year-old Paige, adn that brings us back to the benefits of tolerance.

     Talking about opponents of same-sex marriage, Paige says, "It scares people because they're scared of something different." Later she adds, "Having two dads is all I've ever known." With her arms around her parents, she says, "I love you both." It gets better. Her friends are cool with the whole arrangement.

     "People under 20 just don't understand what the big deal is," says Chalmers. "For the younger generation, gay marriage is very matter-of-fact."

     It's a good social story, but there are undeniable economic benefits. Both Chalmers and Linnell are educated professinals who contribute real value to the community and the state. They will stay in Massachusetts because their relationship is legally sanctioned and their arrangement is increasingly accepted. They will stay and they will attract others, not only gays and lesbians, but straights who appreciate the freedom that a tolerant society bestows on everyone. And that's the environment that will generate the next Big Idea.

Library Journal, February 15, 2006

By David Azzolina, Univ. of Pennsylvania Libs., Philadelphia

This aptly named book has a simple message: gay marriage for many people is not a theoretical issue but a real-life one. The ten stories included here take the issue out of the hands of politicians and invite the reader into the homes of real people. Some have married legally; others have had civil ceremonies or devised their own rituals. Some come from families that have always accepted them and their partners; others have families vowing never to speak to them again. Some relationships are of recent vintage, other couples have been together over 20 years before marrying. Some have children, others don’t. United by shared love, each is a pioneer couple in the ongoing evolution of a traditional institution. For those seeking to become part of the legal battle, there is an appendix that lists resources. However, the most important point made is that there is no ideal marriage, just marriage. Recommended for public and academic libraries.

Bay Windows, February 16, 2006

By Anthony King

Michelle Deakin is fighting on our side...Deakin spent most of 2005 “trying to find people in different parts of the country.” She was in search of gay couples who were married or who considered themselves married to profile in the book. Consider it 10 different articles focusing on 10 truly different couples and their families. Not all are positive, but that’s an actual representation of the issue. “I wanted it to be realistic, ring true to everyone and not alienate people [by just including] happy stories,” she said. What she produced is an honest, heartfelt book with 10 regular couples living the story of gay marriage everyday.
     It’s important to note that not all the couples are actually married. In fact, there is only one couple from Massachusetts who took the big step. The others are from around the country, and Deakin not only talks to them, but talks to their family members as well. “It’s definitely centered around issues of family,” she says. Of course, there’s even a couple that’s been married twice. Jonathan and Dean married in a religious ceremony in San Jose (which their Episcopalian church called a “blessing”) first, and then walked down the aisle again during the San Francisco marriage melee. Six months later, they received a letter invalidating their marriage. The section, subtitled with the quote “We’ll keep getting married until it takes,” is a comforting, humorous look at the national debate on an individual level. Jonathan and Dean are now waiting for a third chance to tie the knot. The short, well put-together book gives several friendly faces to the gay marriage debate, and Deakin seems to be the perfect person to do this. Her writing style — which fluctuates from creative to reporting with ease and flexibility — adds to the stories with a simple touch of a person who honestly cares about these couples.

UUWorld, Spring 2006

Books to note

Michelle Bates Deakin...met with ten same-sex couples from all parts of the United States to talk about their lives, their relationships, and what marriage -- legal only in Massachusetts --means to them. Their stories are inspiring and sometimes heartbreaking. Highly recommended.

Arlington Advocate, April 27, 2006

By Jennifer Mann

"I am a real believer that stories are powerful and stories have the power to change what people believe," Deakin explained. "And they don't have to be outlandish stories to do that. They just have to true and heartfelt. I make a point of saying this is about love--these are love stories." ...The book follows the relationships of 10 homosexual couples who view themselves as living a married life; only one pair, from Massachusetts, is able to be recognized as such under the law.